All posts by tanya

My Family and Our Romance

Our experiences within our family of origin affects the way we engage in romantic relationships. Have you taken the time to discuss these potential differences with your partner?

Family Communication

Was your family feisty? Or were they quick to sweep things under the rug? How did that affect the family’s expression of affection? Could family members directly ask for what they want? How did your family express anger?

You can learn more about making successful requests here.

Role Division in my Family

Families have their own norms and roles. Roles about who makes decisions, does chores, balances the finances, disciplines, etc. Then there are also expectations about parenting, and gender based independence or privileges.

What was your family experience?

Perhaps there are examples you have purposefully discarded. Perhaps there are aspects that have subconsciously snuck in. There are many ways of doing family and doing relationships. Take some time to learn from your partner. Give each other grace to make mistakes while you figure out what role division works for both of you.

Skill Acquisition in my Family

What did you learn about financial decision making and conflict resolution in your family? And what messages did you receive about enjoying a mutually beneficial sexual relationships?

While comparing notes about your families of origin, you and your partner may learn that you wish to acquire some additional skills. Not just for your benefit, but for the next generation who will be talking about their parents/family of origin one day. Contact me to book your session.

Book Review on Grief: Mending the Torn Fabric

Mending The Torn Fabric (Sarah Braband) is a self-help book for individuals who wish to engage in grief work. The metaphor beautifully describes how loss can be experienced as a tear in the fabric of our lives. Whether you are working through a recent, or long avoided loss, this easy to read book provides stories and tips to help you mend the tear(s) in your fabric. Continue reading Book Review on Grief: Mending the Torn Fabric

Conditions of acceptance: Are you up to the challenge?

Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy said: “Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they’re alive and human.” How is it that we so desperately crave unconditional acceptance, but are so slow to give it to others or ourselves?

Continue reading Conditions of acceptance: Are you up to the challenge?

Worry theory: Overcoming common thought traps

This century is characterized by high levels of anxiety (the normal automatic emotional response to perceived threat) and worry (a mental strategy to avoid danger). While anxiety and worry is normal, many people experience these in excess. Here follows a variety of common thought traps that prevent you from having a corrective learning experience about anxiety.  Continue reading Worry theory: Overcoming common thought traps

Rules of engagement: Making requests

Do you have a long list of needs that are never met? Do people complain that they feel bullied by you or perhaps, that you are a nag? Do you get mad when people don’t automatically know your needs? This strategy may help you to make a request with more desirable outcomes.  This skill is useful if you are trying to become more assertive, communicate less emotionally, reduce your manipulation of others, or honestly identify and take responsibility for your “stuff.” Continue reading Rules of engagement: Making requests

Are you ready to graduate from therapy?

Looking back, you may remember how hard it was to decide to engage in therapy. It’s scary trusting a stranger with your stuff, never mind admitting that you have stuff! Well, ending therapy (also known as graduating from or terminating therapy) can be similarly challenging. Let’s see how you can evaluate whether you are ready to graduate, ending options, and common fears about termination. Continue reading Are you ready to graduate from therapy?