Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy said: “Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they’re alive and human.” How is it that we so desperately crave unconditional acceptance, but are so slow to give it to others or ourselves?
Guidelines suggest that adults need approximately 8 hours of sleep everyday. But many struggle to attain the quality of sleep they desire. Here are some (not so secret) suggestions to help you improve the quality of your sleep.
Avoidance and unhelpful beliefs are the two primary factors that maintain fear. Thus the effective treatment for anxiety requires that a) you confront those beliefs and b) face those fears. Exposure therapy is a technique which challenges both aspects.
Firstly, let’s unpack how irrational beliefs contribute to the consequences. There are four main types of irrational (unhelpful) beliefs:
Demandingness: A rule about how the world should be
Catastrophizing: A prediction about how awful it would be if the rule was broken
Frustration intolerance: A belief about your inability to cope with it if the rule was broken
Global rating of self, others, or the world: Rating a unit as a whole based on a singular incident
I am sure you can imagine that a person who believes that
He (boss) should be fair and if he is not that is so awful I can’t stand it! If he is unfair, he is obviously a hateful bully
will experience feelings of anger, resentment, etc.
Even if you don’t believe that life is a musical, Maria taught the Von Trapp children a principle that also applies to psychology: ABC, do re mi, CBT!
So what are the ABC’s of therapy (specifically in CBT/REBT)?
A: Activating event
I would like to call these IRRATIONAL beliefs, because they tend to create all kinds of unhelpful consequences at C.
These consequences refer to the things you do and don’t do in response to the irrational beliefs. It can be behavioural (e.g. withdraw, avoid, fight), relational (e.g. strain on specific relationship), emotional (e.g. anxiety, depression, anger), or physiological (e.g. heart rate, breathing, trembling).
It is important to note that it is not A that causes C, rather it is B that causes C. We cannot always wave a magic wand and make A magically disappear. But what therapy can do is help you to change how you THINK about it.
For more information, do continue reading or book an appointment.
In the meantime, enjoy Maria and the Von Trapp children’s song! Use it as inspiration to practice ABC, do re mi, CBT.